Guess Who Came To Dinner – And Stayed?
by Mark David on April 12, 1994 © All rights reserved
Sunday morning service was of the usual routine
with preaching, teaching, and singing serene
For any who had the need, an alter call was made
I peeked around to see whose arms were raised.
I surveyed and surmised this flock of sheep
I saw no Christians more Christian than me
My mind was calm and my conscience free
I’d stick with the way things were and how they should be
But better to be safe than sorry
I piously muttered a prayer about love and glory
about the Lord being welcome in my home anytime
Then I wondered when this service would end so I could dine
I’d just settled down for a beer and the game
When it was disrupted when the doorbell rang
I bellowed for someone to get the door
Then I remembered I was the only one at home
A knock on my door brings out a bad disposition
I’ll quickly chase off this unwanted imposition
I flung open the door and my heart liked to stop!
I beheld the Lord and my mouth did drop
With my eyes bugged out and my brain shutting down
I looked up at the sky then down to the ground
Speaking of eternity that’s how long it must have been
before I realized He expected me to ask him in
Of course, after all, he was welcome you know
So I squeaked, “Please come in and make yourself at home”
He obeyed my words to the very letter
and started making his way around my clutter
I stood by the door, filled with indecision
praying this was merely some heavenly vision
He knew by my composure I needed revelation
He simply reminded me of my, ‘Invitation.’
Moreover remembering His state of royalty
I said, “You’re head of the home now instead of me.”
At this saying, he seemed quite pleased
He propped up his feet and took his ease
I’ve heard of the Lord appearing to men of great faith
To impart some wisdom or gift of grace
but in my case the Lord seemed quite content
to lie on my couch and take a nap
I resigned decidedly for sanity’s sake
This was just a dream from which I'd soon awake
I went to my bed and laid my head down
hoping upon my waking my snoring visitor would be gone
The sounds of activity roused me from my slumber
I heard my wife in the kitchen making dinner
I wisely decided and without a doubt
Not to tell my wife what my dream was about
I went to the kitchen as my stomach was grumbling
The look on my wife’s face was quite puzzling
It made me ask if the children were okay
She assured me they were both busy at play
It was something else, that was plain to see
So I said, “Honey, do you have a question for me?”
She hesitated and then asked, “Would it be alright
to serve leftovers to the Lord Jesus Christ?”
All at once my peace flew away
So it wasn’t a crazy dream anyway
I looked out the window wondering what to do
When I saw the Lord catching a baseball or two
“Honey,” I cried, “do you know what I’m seeing?”
As she stirred the stew that was now steaming,
She said, “Yeah the Lord and your son are having fun
HE’s not too busy to spend time with your son.”
“How can you call this just harmless fun?
God incarnate is out back hitting home runs?”
“Well Dear, I’ll admit it is an unusual case
Look how sweet, the Lord refused to steal third base.”
“But Honey what on earth are we going to do?”
“Set the table Dear, we’re about to have stew.”
Normally the family didn’t gather for the evening meal
but tonight it seemed like it should be a big deal
We gathered about all ready and able,
naturally we set His place at the head of the table
Tommy not thinking went to grab a roll
His hand shot back like it was a hot coal
Then all eyes turned to Jesus, each in our place
We had not been in the habit of saying grace
The Lord understood what was expected of Him
So He bowed His head and we all joined in
I figured I’d hear Heaven and Earth prayed slap together
over a beef stew that could have tasted much better
But in a quiet, mild, firm voice so serene
The Lord said, “Thank you Father for what we are about to receive.”
The family looked up at each other surprised
The Lord said, "Please pass the peas, if you don’t mind."
Preoccupied, I finished my meal though un-tasted
The Lord was having second’s, making my wife feel elated
She asked, “Lord, do you know how to bake.”
“I must say I make a Heavenly Angel food cake.”
Sally my daughter who so far had nothing to say
asked the Lord if He hears her whenever she prays
He smiled and said, "Of course I do,
And Tommy, that redheaded girl thinks you’re cute too"
Miraculously the children went and cleaned their rooms
My wife cleared the table and put away the food
After dinner is when I really enjoy a good smoke
But lighting up now, well the thought made me choke
Jesus, characteristically offered to do the dishes
but the wife shagged him out of the kitchen with much insistence
Before I knew what the Lord was doing
He’d loaded a VCR tape and sat down for viewing
As I entered the room and beheld the scene
It was clear he’d found a film extremely obscene
He looked at the TV set and then at me
I looked at Him, as my knees grew weak
He said to me in my shock and horror,
“Is this a documentary on Sodom and Gomorrah?”
I already knew in my heart he wasn’t that naïve
I promptly replaced the tape with a Walt Disney
The Lord seemed quite engrossed in the show
He remarked, “We don’t have cable yet in Heaven you know.”
When the show ended I felt I must ask
“Were you leaving now Lord or would you like to rest?”
Assuring him again, He was our honored guest
My wife went to make a place for Him to nest
I struggled and debated over again
Between the fold-out-couch or give up my bed
But the wife was already ahead of me
She was in our bedroom changing the sheets
When I looked at her, she explained this way
"The Lord must have come a long way today
and it wouldn’t kill you to sleep in the living room
you can watch TV until you fall asleep, in there too"
She showed Jesus the private bath and loaded Him up
with towels, soap, and a bathrobe, and such
I never expected to see the Lord of Hosts
In my bedroom, in a pair of my pajama shorts
In our home is the King of Kings no less
my wife’s only concern is if the sheets smell April fresh
"Well, Dear I don’t see why you should be so upset
It isn’t like He’s going to sneak out tonight with our TV set"
Morning arrived with the aroma of eggs and bacon
In my Hawaiian shirt, breakfast, the Lord was making
“Lord, are you on vacation or some weekend retreat?”
The Lord corrected, “I never retreat, please sit down and eat.”
He had already fortified on a bowl of Captain Crunch
and was toying with the prize he’d found in the box
I slurped my coffee and told the Lord I had to go
I was so relieved to see He made no move to follow
The wife and Jesus merrily did household chores
washing clothes and waxing floors
She stopped her work to watch “All My Children.”
after the show they had a long talk about sin
At lunch, I declined the usual Martini
wondering how the Lord felt about drinking
I was certain He was against getting drunk
Since He'd showed up, I’d had that urge more than once
I’m sure the Lord’s visit, a social call it ain’t
Heaven knows I haven’t exactly been living like a Saint
but just how much trouble could I be in
That thought made me shudder within
When I got home, I found a note on the wall
Honey, Jesus and I went to shop at the mall
Now time to dispose of all that would offend
Gee that could take years, where should I begin
Long hair, beard, Hawaiian shirt, and sandals
You’d think at the mall He’d cause a scandal
But with the way all the young people dress
The Lord moved about completely unnoticed
When the question of dinner finally came up
Jesus offered to multiply up some grub
But the wife informed Him in a knowing manner
“Now a days, Lord, we multiply with Hamburger Helper”
The week went by quickly or at least it seemed
and the presence of the Lord was growing on me
At times I actually found it pleasant
Jesus built a bookshelf for a present
Sunday morning came without the usual protests
The family was actually ready on time in their Sunday best
The Lord seemed especially happy and pleased
to be going to church with my family
Getting to church was rather uneventful
But getting IN turned out to be quite a battle
The ushers stare’s could not have been colder
Having to admit one whose hair touched their shoulder
All through the sermon, what a disaster
The Lord kept yelling out corrections to the Pastor
and when the ushers took up the Lord’s offering
a riot broke out when Jesus tried to pocket the change
When we got home, I felt I had to know
and in a cautious way I asked the Lord
“Are you living in our home for some reason or other?”
He put his arm around me and said, "Sit down my brother.”
The Lord said in a sober way
"We ought to consider carefully what we pray
Why should it be an imposition for me to live in your home,
when I’ve invited you to live in mine for evermore.
Your wife and children received me with delight
but then why not, as their hearts are right.
But from the beginning you’ve been very displeased
to have a personal visit from your King
When you put all the religious jargon aside
Together, is where, forever, you and I will preside
Once you’re with me there’ll be nowhere else to go
Nothing else will exist beyond, you know
So if living by my word and rule isn’t your cup of tea
It would be a mistake to make you my bride-to-be
And despite my desire I’ll not force my love and protection
For those of you who chose, are free to go on to destruction
And that is the greatness of the Father manifest
Who loves you so deeply He gave His only…His best
Who could force you to your knees in humble worship
but counts it worthless, if your heart isn’t in it
So my friend, I’ll not disturb you any longer
I’ll take my leave and go back to the Father
and you and others who live as you do
may go on and do whatever you chose
But never again sit and wonder or question
If you died tonight where would be your destination
The answer is in one’s heart you know
Those who love me NOW, heaven IS their home"
The Lord left me, vanished out of sight
I went over his words, which I knew were right
and suddenly it all became so painfully clear
I’d been deceiving myself all these years
I realized the Father, in His infinite wisdom
Had done everything He had done so we could be His children.
When I considered how I’d responded to this
I felt ashamed and now Jesus I missed
And with the thought of such a separation, being forever
I fell upon my face with pain, too much to bear
As the ache in my heart grew all consuming
I tasted a bit of what hell’s torment had in store for me.
I cried and I wept over my sin and mistakes
I felt so unworthy of the Lord’s mercy and grace
I wanted to live but I was without any righteousness
And I knew in this condition I was only fit for death
Then my heart leapt within me by FAITH
That’s why the Lord took my sin and His righteousness gave
So I could live before God in His perfect state
With the Nature of Christ I could NEVER obtain
I got up from my knees and stood on my feet
And began praising God for just loving me
After so many years of just going through the motion
It was wonderful to feel genuine devotion
I was singing and dancing when the family came in
At first they’d thought I’d had too much Gin, again
My wife assumed my joy was because Jesus had gone
But I took her in my arms and said, “No, Darling you’re wrong”
Jesus is now living right where He belongs
I gathered the children too in my arms
The Lord has set up His kingdom in my heart
Where you can have His love now, whenever you want
